Juns crappy life 2
by Hotfix
Summary: Another story about the crappy life of Jun Sakurada.


**Juns crappy life part 2**

*In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...the A-Team. *

*zap*

"WHAT THE FUCK SHINKU !" Jun yelled across the room. "I WAS WATCHING THAT !".  
"I hate that series. It's not fit for a lady like me". She replied in a bossy tone, hoping Jun would let it fly this time, but he didn't.  
"Fuck you, bitch" he yelled as he slapped her in the face.

Angry he ran to his room where he plopped down on his bed and started crying like the big baby he was.  
As usual, he soon stopped and got up again and put on some music. Country was his music of choice, but not today.  
No, today he put on TECHNO.  
He Drank the beer he had hidden underneath his bed and popped some pills (which he had also hidden under his bed) and then went crazy on the music.  
He was dancing as if his life depended on it and constantly turning up the volume.  
Downstairs, in the living room, the plaster was falling from the ceiling. It almost looked as if it was snowing and soon everything in the room was almost completely white.  
Shinku looked almost like a snowman.  
Since all the walls in these house were soundproof, Nori, who was working in the backyard didn't notice a thing.  
The soil of the backyard had been contaminated by a recent nuclear accident in the nearby nuclear power plant. It was no real surprise then that Nori had grown three additional toes, a third eye, and tumours on her tongue.  
What the hell was she even doing in the backyard anyway ? Rumour has it that in the backyard there is a huge treasure of one million years old. As a result, Nori had already dug a hole of 6 meters deep and 4 meters wide, from which she could no longer escape, as the ladder was not long enough and was stolen by Kanaria two days ago.

Back inside the house, in the kitchen to be more exact, Suiseiseki Was trying to snort powdered sugar with the help of Hina.  
Hina however was not the most handy of the dolls, and kept throwing the sugar on the floor.  
"SCREW UP ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL HAVE TO EAT YOUR HEART OUT !" Suiseiseki yelled at Hina, who promptly started to cry because someone was yelling at her (Never mind the fact that she couldn't have heard it because of the ongoing musical assault).  
Souseiseki, who was still living with that old fool, had decided to pay the Sakurada's a visit, but of course no on heard the doorbell.  
Getting angered because she had to wait so long she decided to go through Juns room (as always).  
"Die, Window !" she yelled as she rammed the window. As she went through, the house suddenly got less soundproof and the massive musical attack ventured outside.  
Once inside, Souseiseki managed to reach the door of Juns room, but only just. Battered, bruised and cut(from the glass of the windows of course) she stepped out of his room and quickly closed the door again.  
Inside Jun was still dancing like crazy, drinking more beer and popping more pills as he went.  
His eyes were blood red by now, and his ears were bleeding. How he could still hear the music was anyone's guess.

As Souseiseki stumbled downstairs she was greeted by strange looking doll.  
A muffled "FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER" she heard and stopped. As she looked downstairs she saw who was stopping her. It was Kanaria.  
She was wearing a gasmask, anti-radiation suit and earplugs (to survive the music.) and an m60 machine gun.  
She had used the ladder she stole from Nori as a bridge to get relatively safely across the backyard, while battling mutated sparrows with her umbrella.  
"Fuh fuh fuh, it is I, the always marvellous Kanaria, and YOU are going to help me."  
She said while pointing the excessively large gun at the now stopped Souseiseki.  
"Cut the crap Kanaria. You can't fire that weapon" she replied. She was right though. How on earth was Kanaria even able to carry a weapon that big and heavy in the first place ?

"Fuh fuh fuh, the radiation made me stronger. You have no chance to survive make your time." As she readied to fire her gun, the ceiling finally gave way, and Jun came crashing down, along with everything else in the room.  
As the ceiling dropped on Kanaria, she pulled the trigger. The bullets went everywhere, including Souseiseki's head, thus blowing it to useless dust.  
After all the bullets had been fired and the smoke cleared, the damage became clear.  
Kanaria had been crushed under the weight of the ceiling and the walls had more holes than Swiss cheese with a mouse problem.  
Jun, for some odd reason, had actually survived the fall and had continued dancing.  
Because of the insanely loud music, no one in the living room had heard the shots being fired, even though the entire house was filled with smoke and dust.  
In the living room Shinku was still watching TV, and was now being accompanied by Hina who was trying to get all the plaster from the ceiling out of her eye socket (after having gouged out her eye with a rusty spoon again).  
In the kitchen the now alone Suiseiseki was still trying to snort up the powdered sugar, but because the loud music the sugar kept vibrating off of the table.  
"I have had it with this stupid sugar !" she yelled angrily as she got a straw from the drawer.  
"I'll just snort it right from the can" she mumbled as he put the straw in her nose and then in the can.  
Of course, there was more that Jun was hiding than just the beer and pills. As it turned out, the powdered sugar appeared to be actual cocaine that he got from the suspicious man from across the street.  
The coke blew Suiseiseki mind completely as she began running around in circles, flailing her arms wildly.  
Back in the hallway Jun was still dancing wildly between the hot copper shells (there must have been at least 600 of them. Where on earth did she keep all those bullets ??!!) and debris from the ceiling.  
By now he was also drooling uncontrollably and his fingers were twitching like crazy.  
As he waltzed into the snow white living room he created a massive cloud of dust, making it look like a blizzard had just appeared in the house.

Outside, oblivious to all that had happened indoors, the now 7 legged Nori had finally struck gold.  
Or so she thought.  
"Treasure! TREASURE !! T-R-E-A-S-U-R-E !! I FOUND IT ! YEAH BITCHES !" she yelled with her third mouth that had formed on the top of her head as she struck a solid object in her now 17 meters deep hole. All that glisters is not gold however, as she would soon find out.  
In fact, it was actually a top-secret(really really secret) nuclear rocket that had been buried there by the government many years ago, in case those pesky Swedes decided to invade.  
As she kept banging the rocket, in hope it would open she somehow managed to arm it.  
A stupid countdown, complete with a cheesy voice, had started now that would detonate the rocket in 10 minutes.  
Nori, who was completely deaf now because the radiation had burned away her eardrums continued to dig out the rocket, still thinking it was treasure.

Back indoors a massive dance party was going on. Somehow the slightly erotic dance moves of Jun had managed to get the remaining dolls to dance as well.  
Back in the kitchen Suiseiseki was still running around like crazy while the cocaine was happily gnawing away at her brain.  
As she stormed into the living room she too joined the massive dance party with her crazy running around.  
As the countdown was nearing its end, Jun yelled "Oops, out of time! So tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999!".  
How he could possibly have know that remains a mystery till this very day, but he did.  
Never mind the fact that it wasn't 1999.  
After that a bright flash followed and it was all over. The entire world seemed suspended in time, before everything was wiped away by the super massive explosion.  
The entire city went up in smoke as the massive mushroom cloud grew larger.  
When the smoke cleared, all that remained was a massive ruin.  
But somewhere between these ruins the music was still pumping like crazy. It's at the former Sakurada house, where, Jun was still dancing between the rubble.  
How he survived no one knows, but he was the only survivor of this horrible incident.  
And till this very day, he is still having his eternal dance party of doom.  
The end.

*zap*

"Give me that remote, Shinku !".  
"This movie sucked so hard it could have sucked my balls right through my dick" Jun yelled at Shinku, who was holding the remote hostage.  
"I want to watch the god damned A-Team" he yelled as he snatched the remote from her arms.

*zap*

*In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...the A-Team. *

**The end.**

**Credits:**  
Story – Me  
Inspiration – Nothing  
Special thanks – Servicepack

If you are reading this it means you read the entire story.  
Hahaha, LOSER !! LOSER !! LOSER !! LOSER !!


End file.
